community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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