Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
