I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i came on her dog
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize