Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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