Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
