woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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