can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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