he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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