I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
