White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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