I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
