Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
