I must be too annoying 4 u.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The maid of honor just puked.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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