u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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