Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
