its not stalking. its research.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
