I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
