I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
