Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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