I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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