She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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