I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
