Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
