can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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