I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
