White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
