that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
