are you still at the devil's house?
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
