i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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