The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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