i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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