That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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