White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
