Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
