Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
