DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
