hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize