my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
