hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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