The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
