its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
