I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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