O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
