A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize