sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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