Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well I just put wine in my tea
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
