The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize