Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
