i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
