I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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