I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize