everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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