i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
