I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sober January is a disaster.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
