Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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