He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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