I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize