Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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