cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize