So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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