I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
