oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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