you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
