420 ftw
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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