all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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