I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
